Tuesday, December 27, 2016

It's not that I don't love you

Dear Silas,
Sweet, perfect, cuddly, roly-poly baby Silas. It's not that I don't love you. I have loved every single minute of these past thirteen months. I have loved them so much, in fact, that rather than wasting a single moment doing anything else, I have spent my time simply trying to drink you in. I spend months kissing your cheeks, years watching you play, and lifetimes just cuddling you while you're still little enough to fit in my lap. I have notes scattered everywhere of all the things you do and the ways you're learning. I have thousands of pictures and videos on my phone. I have a heart full of memories and love and squishy stuff.  True to form, the first kid got the minutiae of every day life documented. You, the poor second child, are stuck with these haphazard scribbles of a mother trying to keep up, and not lose a single moment. It's not that I don't love you.  I love you too much to let a single moment slip by.
Your poor mother (who WILL catch up, yes she will)

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Hooray! (Zzzzzzzzzzzzz)

Well, it took 2 entire years, but I’m finally getting sleep. Actual extended blocks of sleep.  AT NIGHT.  Little dumplin’ doesn’t wake up every couple hours anymore; we no longer have to lay in bed with him to get him to fall asleep, silently fantasizing about vasectomies; and although he still sleeps in our room half the night, he’s now on his own mattress next to our bed.

How do I do it, you ask?  Did I finally give in and slip August some Jim Beam?  No! Roofies in his almond milk?  Nope!  Broke out that bottle of chloroform?  Turns out I didn’t have to, after all.  

We’ve been waiting for August to be able to tell us why he was waking up every few hours, and when he did, it wasn’t what I had expected.  Turns out, his “nose hurt.”  What’s more—on the nights his “nose hurt” a lot, my allergies were acting up.

I’d like to take a moment to dedicate this post to the makers of Claritin.  One teaspoon in the afternoon and he sleeps so much better.  Replace nap time with “quiet time” and he sleeps 12-13 hours at night (up from 9-10 hours), only waking twice, and falling right back to sleep without screaming for hours.

I’m not entirely sure if 2 years is old enough to start skipping naps (but it's been harder and harder to get him him to nap anyway), so this is still in the experimental phase.  But we’re excited to be able to actually teach him how to fall asleep on his own (which is now magically working), without having to put him back to sleep 5 or 6 times a night.  Every night.  We’re happy to have actual parenting-free time in the evening.  We’re excited keep the Jim Beam for ourselves.  And we’re excited to think that we MIGHT want to have another little goblin some day.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

From the Mouths of Babes

First the stats: As of June 6, August is  35 1/2 inches tall and weighs, 24 3/4 lbs, which means that since his 18 month checkup, he’s gained 4 inches and 4 lbs.  It also means that with a BMI of 4.4%, technically he’s underweight. Although the Pedi didn’t seem concerned, I’ve resolved to make us him more smoothies containing coconut oil.

Other changes include the brand-spankin-new mattress that’s now pushed up against ours, because this kid will sleep in his own bed at some point sohelpmegod.

And, August’s ever increasing vocabulary!  He’s started making 3-word sentences now.  He surprised me with his very first one on a recent, sunny summer day.  I was holding him in my arms, and he was smiling and happy, birds were singing and little clouds puffed by in the sky, when all at once he turned his big, beautiful brown eyes up to gaze at mine, reached out his hand, and said, “Hold that stick.”  (What, you were expecting Shakespeare???)

His second 3-worder was equally poetic, although less idyllic.  Yesterday he spend a solid 5 minutes yanking on my leg and yelling, “EAT MORE VITAMINS!” I should explain that since the gummy vitamins (Vitamin D and Omega 3) are the closest thing he gets to candy, he regularly demands them.

He chatters all the time, mainly repeating the last word or two you say.  This is a common way for 2 year olds to keep the conversation going. Not so common, however, is a 2 year old correcting poor grammar, but August did it last week.  His grammie said, “good night,” which he repeated.  She said, “love you,” which he repeated.  She said, “sleep good,” and he paused for a minute, then said, “sleep…well.”  


Thursday, May 30, 2013

On turning 2...

 You may be turning 2 in a week, and growing like a weed;

You may have remarkable productive language skills, capable of saying the 'v' sound in Grover, and differentiating 't' from 'd' (making the linguist in me beam with pride);

Your vocabulary may be increasing by leaps and bounds; 

You may like to wake up and whisper early morning “conversations” in bed with your mama, which mainly consist of you pointing out rather obvious things (“…and a light…and a sleeping…and a mama…”);

You may push the mini-shopping cart for me at the store (sometimes the same direction that I"m heading), help your dada sweep the floor, and carry stuff for me;

You may know the words to a million songs, and sing your ABCs over and over*;

But you’re NOT too grown up to fling yourself into my arms, clinging to my neck like a scared baby chimp, at the first sound of the vacuum.

*N.B. The ABCs have evolved into a medium for trying out all your different voices. Sometimes you sing them squeaky and high-pitched, other times in a dinosaur roar...I'd be lying if I said your parents didn't join in...

**While you and I do the above technique as a call-and-response with the phrase "love you," when you are by yourself, you like to use the phrase, "see that?!"

***You have a lot of quirks like this, such as repeating your favorite letter (W) with various inflections, like screaming it accusatorily, or saying it lovingly while patting my hair.

***I love you for this.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Things that make me...

Things that make me chuckle:

August sitting on his potty, poking his penis, and saying, “[What did] I tell you!?  Hmm?!”  (I have no idea what this means, but it’s hilarious)

His very deliberate way of putting together new sentences.  “More….pirates.”  Of course, everything he does is deliberate.  (And who wouldn’t want more pirates?)

They way he now sighs and says, “noooooo,” like a mopey teenager. (And he finally says "yes"--and nods while doing so.)

His awesome dance moves AND uncanny ability to pick up song lyrics.

How he has a series of steps to undertake everytime he has to pee, including removing his undies and pants (completely), and lugging over whatever he is doing/eating/drinking (usually takes several trips)

How he HAS to finish what he's doing before he will move on (includes leaving the apartment, getting OFF the potty, switching activities), and since he's a bit of a perfectionist, this can take a while...

His "conversations," which are frequently made up of things he can point at or maybe just repeat.

And so many little things every day when he imitates us, or shows off something he has learned, or throws a tantrum (I know I shouldn’t laugh, but I do…)

Things that make me proud:

Two accidents in the past month, but otherwise completely housebroken.  He now wears undies all the time.

The pacifiers are GONE!  He started throwing them when he didn’t want to go to sleep, so I took that as a sign and poked a hole in each one.  A day or so later, he decided they just weren’t doing it for him anymore, and stopped asking for them.

He know can identify every letter (and how they sound), read some short words, and can sing the ABCs (over and over nonstop). Elmo gets all the credit for this--since I never once taught him letters.

Things that make me strangely sad:

When he stopped using the pacis, he also stopped grabbing onto my straps to comfort himself.  I absolutely hated this for the longest time, but now that he’s stopped, I miss it. 

Being so proud and amazed by this kid, who is becoming more and more independent every day, and who is needing me less and less.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Again with the dookie?

August’s new favorite phrases:

Wha’ happen?
Fall down.
You heard dat?
Go ‘way!
I pee dat!          

The last one he says pretty much every time he uses his potty chair.  He points and shouts. We clap every time.

He also has a new favorite song, which goes, “Lalalala lalalala Elmo peed.  Lalalala lalalala Elmo peed! Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo LAAA ELMO PEED!”

This is his version of the “Elmo’s world” theme song, which he modified.  I don’t want to jinx myself, but so far potty training has been super easy. We just took his diaper off.  The first few days, we reminded him constantly and entertained him while he was on the pot.  By the second week, he would just wander over and drop trou.  12 days in he started staying dry during naps and at night. 

There was one ‘incident’ during the first week when he pulled down his pants in the middle of the night in order to pee…all over me.  But we don’t talk about that.  (He has since successfully made it to the potty at night, but usually just holds it.)

There’s also been a few whoopsies on the floor (thank god for hardwood flooring!), but I’m using some helpful advice to "think of it like cleaning up cat puke.”

And we still use a pull up when he’s napping, at night, or when we’re out of the house.  I’m using the singular because I think we’ve been using the same one for a few days now.  When we’re out in public, he wont tell us if he needs to go, but will go if we drag him to the toilet. So we’re working on that, but really—I don’t see what all the fuss is about…

Or am I missing something?

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Happy Dookie Day!

Today I took a picture of a turd—a new parenting low, even for me.  My partner said it was, “strange to see a human being get so excited about another human being taking a dump in front of them,” but I don’t care.


Sitting up, crawling, walking, and all those other milestones are nothing compared to the thought that one day, relatively soon, my kid will stop wearing diapers. 

He’s been pretty clear about what he’s doing in his diaper for months now, but never gave a shit (heehee) about potty training, until a couple weeks ago.  I sat him on it and told him to go, and he actually grunted, pointed at his penis and said, “help?”  So we tried this off and on once a day (during nakey-time, right before his bath), for the past few weeks, with no results….until tonight.

He pooped.  We clapped.  I seriously considered posting the photo I took to facebook.  And he then proceeded to pee all over the floor, which put a bit of a damper (oh, so many puns) on my enthusiasm.  But remarkably, when I (finished cleaning up the puddle and) told him that he also needed to PEE in the potty, he actually seemed to consider it. He waited a couple minutes and then said, “pee?”  and lo and behold, peed in the potty chair. 

I could weep with joy.

Yes, I know that it might take months and months.  I know that we might have to stop completely and try again later.  But I don’t care.

In other news:
IUDs can apparently cause ovarian cysts. Explains why I’ve been fetal with pain for a few days out of every month since I stopped nursing August.  FML.

August can sing, “Row Row Row Your Boat,” and is only a little off on the middle bits.

His new favorite game is to climb a piece of furniture and yell, “JUMP!”  He gives you approximately 2.5 seconds to get into place to catch him.  But if you catch him, he’ll kiss you.

He also likes to force you to get up, push you into his dada’s office, turn you around and say, “sit.” He will then put your hands on the keyboard and say, “that,” wait for you to start typing, wave and say, “bye kitty,” and leave, closing the door behind him.  Then, he will run around the other door, and open it and sneak in.

Why?  Who cares!  That little dookie just gave him carte blanche to do whatever he wants for a good long while…